Still Locked Down Monologue

Updated: Nov 19, 2020

If I were going to kill him, I’d have done it ages ago and been out by now. It wouldn’t make much difference on nationwide house arrest anyway.

What about having the place all to myself?

No, no…

But I mean you’d think that after thirty-five years, thirty-five! He’d know you put the woolies on a fast spin with a low temperature- he does it, everything’s spoilt. The one thing I ask him to do, probably does it on purpose so he never has to do anything and he still needs to paint that shed and all. Alan! Alan! Are you sleeping again…Al! Why do I bother?

Oh he loves a kip- I’ll never know how he can squeeze a snooze in anytime- just out like a light. Even when I were in labor with Chris, oh my word. Rushing off me feet, trying to get a few bits done for when we come back from hospital- and he’ll still argue that sleep got him ready to be a Dad. What’s he like? The bugger

Gosh those day felt like we barely ever slept at all- now it’s all you can do to keep the time moving. Not wishing anything away of course. The only way I’m snoozing in the daytime is if it’s the long one. Got to keep sane and they do say talking to yourself is good for you anyways. I used to think it were barking mad but here we are. The worlds gone mad anyways.

At least the garden is all nice and tidied for the summer though it’s only March, changed the bedding in all the rooms yesterday and again today but at least the match the drapes now.

Honestly if the walls of this house could talk- We always did have a laugh- it was a much simpler time then, not like now with all these internet and email gizmos. Al makes me laugh though bless him. I found someone who spoke the same language as me. It don’t matter what’s going on out there- it never did. Alan’s here, we have our Chris and our little girl- well and the mother but everyone is safe and that’s all that counts at the end of day.

Goodness knows I’ve dragged Al all over and round again so it’s alright if he takes a few more kips than he used to- just needs the rest probably. Oh look at him snoring away- I remember baby Chris would cry until Al rested him on his tum and he’d nod right off after that. ‘All because of your baking he says’I just love the face he makes when he’s having his tea- still after all this time- Al’s favorites, well except when Chris is here- then he gets a bit jealous, though he’ll never admit it.

Easy to miss those days- especially when you can’t get them back and you’re getting closer to where you’re going. Everything counts now. Stop crying and thinking about Sunday Chris coming round flashing a ‘Happy Mother’s Day’ placard from the conservatory window. This all just has to be over now- and my little cherub’s face looking so happy holding that fistful of daisies. I could just give her a big squeeze. Our Chris has grown up to be a good lad and a good Dad to be honest- definitely takes after Al, he has his heart and I suppose everything else of mine. I can’t help but worry about him working so much at the hospital. If I were young and not ‘vulnerable’ like they say, I’d be right on that front line with him.

Let me pop the kettle on and see about tea.

Enough of this,Al’s favorite, egg and chips then.

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